Tiara Joy

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Mukilteo, WA, United States
I'm a mid-late twenties female that's just trying to get my life going in the right direction in all aspects. This blog will follow me thru all my thoughts no matter how silly, serious, funny or sad.

Tuesday, January 19, 2010

Oh what a year can do...

This morning I woke up thinking about where I have come in the past year. It's a thought that stumbled into my head just as randomly as anything else. There was nothing to provoke it and nothing to remind me of it. It just decided to weasel it's way in until I finally sat down and paid it some attention. This time last year was exactly a month before I got fired from a very nice job I had as a client service representative. This time last year was when my drinking and partying got to an absolutely ridiculous new low...high? Well, when it got to be way too much. This time last year around November was when I let a boy that had already taken advantage of my mind, heart and body once before, back into my life without considering the outcome of that decision. This time last year is when I had no self respect, no self worth, no self confidence left in me to fight the fight I needed to fight. About this time last year is when I met an inspirational young man into my life to help me start putting the pieces together. Since that time I have accomplished so much that I am so proud of. Since this time last year I have changed my number and my address in order to get the people out of my life that didn't deserve to be in it. Since this time last year I have moved out of that apartment and into a house with a new puppy and a new man. Since this time last year I have almost gotten a good grip on my finances, not including this month! Since this time last year I have a new job that I love working as a barista at a Harley shop in Bellevue. Since this time last year I am now able to take on any challenge that comes my way with more confidence than ever before. I know what I am worth now and I am worth so much more than I ever gave myself credit for in the past. Since this time last year I have been with BF for almost a year now and faithfully so. Since this time last year I have found my faith in God again and can now see him in everything around me. Since this time last year I have enrolled in college at the Art Institute of Seattle for my diploma in The Art of Cooking. Since this time last year I have found incredible peace in my life. Everything is not perfect and I have many struggles to deal with almost daily. Right now I'm working full time, going to school 3 days a week after work until 11pm and looking for a second part-time job because I can't afford my rent and tuition. That is a huge stress but I am not to be deterred. I will be able to make it work if I keep at it hard and long enough. BF and I have issues like any other couple. We argue about what to eat most the time, but now that we have been together and living together for about a year, other things are starting to make their way to the surface slowly but surely.With that we are making sure we are prepared for those conversations by understanding how we communicate together. I realize that because we have had such a blessed and easy going relationship, it may bite us in the butt since we are ill-prepared for how to communicate together about serious issues. There are things I need to focus on more in order to keep my life in balance. I am trying to make sure I spend at least 10 mins in the morning stretching my body. I try to make a point of making it to church almost every Sunday. I haven't been in 4 weeks and I can feel the emptiness taking place in my heart. I can't wait for Friday night so I can catch up with the podcast from my pastor. I am trying to pay more attention to my finances and keep myself on budget. I am also trying to make sure I go to bed in a clean and organized room every night so I wake up with thing in their proper place. All in all, this past year has been very sweet to me and I don't take one bit of it for granted. I appreciate the hard years prior because they gave my the wisdom I needed to realize how great life can be. With out those experiences I don't know if I would be making the decision that are so right for me right now. So, in closing, a year can be rough on you and make you want to give up. A year can tear you down and make it seem like you're spiraling down a big well and will surely hit the bottom with no escape. Just always remember, a year can be sweet to you as well. A year can give you many foot holes to use and climb your way up and out. It just all depends on the path you decide to take. Be defeated, defiant, and stuck at the bottom of that well. Or make your own way out with determination, faith and hard work.

3 comments:

  1. i really enjoy what you have to say Tiara! i totally can relate to the hard past and how it can help you become the better person that you want to be if you just try to work through it all and not let it overwhelm you. i really like getting to know you better than i ever did before, and im so happy that things are going so well for you. :0

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  2. AND....about this time last year you reconnected with one of your most awesome friends EVER!! haha :)
    I love you hun! It's good that you are able to reflect on the past clearly and learn and grow :)

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  3. Thanks you guys!
    Alex, isn't it crazy that the internet can bring two acquantinces closer to each other just between sharing blogs and things like that? I think about that often with you!

    MARIN!!! You are so completely right! I think we should celebrate that by going back to that one bar place in everett and playing some games! lol and then break a glass on the dance floor and leave!

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