I don't even know where to begin with this amazing journey I had. I suppose we will start with my doctor's appointment on Tuesday the 11th, four days after my due date.
On Tuesday I went to my 11am appoint with my midwife at the Birth Center. All was looking good and I had my membranes swept and they stretched me to a stretchy 4 cm and could feel my water bulging while I was 100% effaced. All good signs for labor to start soon! I was told to go walk for a few hours to see if that helps to get things going. I called my parents and let them know that hopefully things would get going soon and then went and met up with my girlfriends to go on a walk.
We walked for about a mile and then I left and went to Home Depot for a few things and started having cramps and felt like I was leaking so I decided that it may be best for me to head on home just in case. I got a call from my dad and stepmom saying they had booked a flight for that night because we were all just so excited!
My parents got in late that night and nothing new was going on. We all went to bed and Cor went to work on Wednesday while the parentals and I went to downtown Snohomish to try and walk this baby out! We were out and about for about 5 hours walking from shop to shop and up and down so many stairs! I was completely enjoying our day out and wasn't feeling too much different from the day before. Sore and pressure but no contractions or pain. Was this baby ever going to come?!
We went home and Cor made us all dinner. I sat on the yoga ball bouncing the night away while using my manual pump to try to jumpstart contractions. Nothing was happening except me getting tired and sore!
Thursday came and I had made a call to my midwife because I had thought I was leaking fluid and was concerned. They said they would get back to us and so we went on a good long walk with the dogs around our neighborhood. When we finally heard back from the midwife she was not concerned at all. I asked what I could do to get this going and she said nothing and to stop walking. Walking will only exhaust me for when labor comes. So the parents and I just sat on the couches and hung out. Cor was at work and then went to band practice until about 7pm so it was just My dad, momma2 and I hanging out at home and having a blast!
I don't think I have ever laughed as hard as I did that day. I was hysterically laughing and wheezing and crying over everything! My dad and I must have looked like lunatics! We didn't have dinner that night. Just munched on pickled green beans, red vines, cheesecake and other crap. We were starting to think this baby was never coming so we just stayed up a little on the late side. Everyone was drinking beer and jagermiester and my dad suggested I take a tiny sip of Jagger because you never know, Bailey might just want out to join the party! I took two little sips of my daddy's shot and we continued to laugh the night away.
We all finally went to bed around 11pm or so. Our bellies full of junk food and our cheeks sore from laughing.. I woke up to pee at about 1:30 am. I did my usual potty break and text my darling friend Cari, who had just had a baby about a month prior. I climbed into bed and closed my eyes only to be awaken by a sudden urge to pee at about 1:45am. I got up, ran to the toilet and thought my water was breaking. I sat there for about a minute and then the first contraction hit hard and fast. Two minutes later another hit and I called out for Cory to wake up. He got up confused and helped me time them out. They were immediately one minute long and 2 minutes apart. This was happening fast and furious.
I had him call our amazing doula, Ashley, and let her know what was going on. We were told by the birth center to wait until the contractions were 1 minute long and 2 minutes apart for at least 2 hours before paging the midwives and coming in. At this point Wheeler, our doggy, had gotten up and went to the guest room to let my parents know we were in labor. My momma2 was already up as she had heard me groaning loudly and my lovely papa was trying to go back to sleep thinking it was going to take some time.
I hoped in the shower to try and help with the contractions. I don't know how long I was in there. I do know it helped immensely to have that hot water pounding on my back. My momma was sitting in the bathroom with me timing my contractions while Cory talked with the doula and finally paged the midwives since we live about 30 minutes away from the birth center and my contractions were just coming harder and faster. I finally got out of the shower because I didn't want to use up all the hot water. I wanted to save it in case the pain got worse and I needed to get back in, not realizing that this labor was going fast and I wouldn't be home much longer.
I got dressed in some scrubby pajamas, not the cute pj's I had picked out for labor ;), and went to the living room to try some of the techniques our doula had shown us. My contractions were still a minute or longer and every 2-3 minutes so I wasn't able to do all the things I thought I would do while in beginning stages of labor such as do the dishes, fill the cooler with ice packs and snacks, make sure my bag is packed with everything I need and get the dogs to pee, etc. Instead I was on all fours holding on to my birth ball and trying to talk everyone into grabbing what was needed and packing the cars up.
We finally got the all clear from the midwives to come to the birth center at about 4am. I had been in labor and trying not to push for 2 hours. I climbed in the back of my dad's rental car and laid down trying to just close my eyes and zone out for the ride while my dad followed Cory to the birth center. I tried to keep track of where we were by following the turns but I couldn't. I had no clue where we were in relation to the birth center and I just needed to focus on getting thru the contractions alone.
Once we got to the birth center it was about 4:20am and the street was empty. The birth center is on one of the main roads in Downtown Everett and is lined by businesses with apartments above them. I got out of the car and had two contractions while standing outside and I will never forget standing on Colby Ave in the dreary early morning and letting out roars and groans that echoed up and down North Everett while waiting for the midwives to show up and open the birth center. I wanted to laugh with how ridiculous it was and was imagining the people waking up in their apartments wondering who was getting murdered below.
One of the assistants showed up a few minutes after us and let us in. I begged her to let me get in the tub and was told I needed to wait until I had been checked to make sure it was safe. My doula showed up right about this time and I couldn't be happier to see her as well as my amazing friend Ashley who was doing our birth photos. We got in the room and things became a blur. We got me checked and found that I was 7 cm and my water hadn't fully broke yet and I was free to get in the tub!
I climbed in and was told to stay on all fours and to try to stay off my back. The water felt wonderful but it was difficult to find a comfortable way to lay and I didn't really have anything to hold on to except my darling doula. Finally Cory sat on the edge of the back of the tub so I could hang on him and lay between his legs. Every contraction was hitting like a brick to the back and was so hard to not push. I don't know how long I was in that tub but about an hour or so later they pulled me out to check me again and I was 10cm and my water had broke so I was allowed to start pushing for real!
The room was low lit and so warm with mellow music going in the background. We had our wonderful midwife Darlene, her daughter Brianne who is finishing her license to become a midwife, a birth assistant, my doula Ashley, our photographer Ashley, my amazing stepmom, my daddy and Cory and I. I had so much love and support in that room with me. Here I was in full blown labor and I was just so in love with everyone in that room with me.
I pushed and pushed and pushed. My doula was next to me the entire time massaging my legs, my shoulders, feeding me honey sticks and frozen grapes to keep the energy up, whatever I needed. Everyone else was helping keep a huge bowl of ice water in the room so they could keep wash clothes cold and on me. We tried pushing on a birthing stool, pushing while on the toilet backwards, pushing on all fours, pushing on my back on the bed, pushing, and pushing and pushing. My midwife was trying to help my cervix along as it seemed the lip of my cervix wouldn't go up all the way. I would push and she could get it moved but then once I stopped pushing it would go back down and it was making it hard for the baby to move down more. We tried a few more positions with Cory holding me up in his lap and dropping my butt down every time a contraction came while my doula stood behind him holding my hands to keep me from falling. We were trying to use gravity to get her down.
After a few hours of all these positions we were able to get the cervix to stay all the way up and open and we thought the baby would be making her entrance at any time now. I was laying on the bed with Ashley by my head holding my hand while my momma held one leg up, one of the assistants was holding the other leg and another was on the other side of my head holding my hand feeding me water while cory kept the wash clothes coming. I will never forget that moment.
I was sitting there pushing as hard as I could and in between those contractions I would just look around me and realize that this is how labor should be. Every woman should be surrounded by loving and caring women helping to bring this baby into the world. I was so in love with every person in that room. My vision was fuzzy with endorphins. Being able to stare into my doula's eyes without her breaking contact and just having her whisper to me about how my body is doing it,it's happening and I was doing soo good. Having Cory hold me up and let me hang on him and kiss him. All I wanted in that time was to kiss Cory and pet Ashley. Here I was in extreme labor wanting to love on everyone.
After about 5 hours of pushing I was getting so tired. We switched my position so I was on my knees and the idea was to reach up and use the headboard as leverage to bear down and push during contractions. I tried so hard. I pushed with all I had left in me but my contractions had started to stall. I was getting them every minute and they were only lasting about 30 seconds. Not long enough for me to get a good push or a good rest in. I was exhausted. The pain in my back was extreme and I couldn't get my back or hips to relax.
My midwife came in and told me the baby was still not making the progress she needed to make. She let me know that I had two options. I could either be transferred immediately to the hospital or I could try for another half hour and if nothing happens than I would need to be transferred. This was at about 9 am and I decided to try for another 30 minutes. I wanted this birth in that birth center. That was my plan and that was what I was going to do. But, I have to admit, there was something in the back of my head that was telling me it was ok to go to the hospital and that it wasn't giving up.
My doula was next to me and talking to me and giving me so much encouragement. Letting me know to push with all my might on these next few contractions and to fight for my baby girl. I pushed and I pushed and it wasn't happening. Everyone was moving around and packing up their stuff while my doula and I sat on that bed and tried our hardest to get Bailey to come on down. That 30 minutes went faster than anything in the world. It was over. We were getting transferred. The emotions were so high. I was worried, relieved, scared, and pissed off at myself. Having Ashley there with Cory and I and my family was crucial. She kept us calm and let me just cry in her lap as I started the process of grieving for a birth that I wanted and couldn't have as well as preparing for a mind shift and coming to terms with a hospital birth.
to be cont.......
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