I went to culinary school. I worked hard, was exhausted and learned a few crucial skills and a lot of bullshit. I put myself $20k in debt all so I could see if that's where my passion lies.
When I graduated I had the personal business cards of some of the best chefs in the Seattle area. I had spoken with them, their wives and their employees. They handed me those cards so that I could work for them. They gave them to me. I didn't ask for them.
What a huge ego boost!
One problem though, I'm an absolute chickenshit.
I didn't follow up on a single lead. I missed my networking goldmine all for a little thing called fear. I was terrified to actually put my knowledge and passion to work. Petrified that I couldn't do it. So nervous that I just wouldn't be able to stand the heat.
I found those cards in April and it pissed me off. I squandered an absolute blessing. These people had met me. That is the toughest part. Is getting the interview. And I nailed it every time. Why was I so damn scared? So I applied at Anthony's to do anything. Just to get a job in the field and see if I liked it.
Turns out I love it. But that's front house stuff. Could I make it in the kitchen?
I heard an opening was coming up and I jumped at the bit. I sat down with my GM and asked what he thought. He was so encouraging that I sat down with the Kitchen Manager and she said she would give me try. That was 3 months ago. I start in the kitchen this coming week. I realized it yesterday.
I'm terrified. Not of sucking at cooking, I know I can cook. Not of making mistakes, I know it will happen. A little bit at learning the way a line works but I know I will pick it up fast. What I'm most scared of is that people here know me. Now it's not a bunch of strangers waiting to see me fail but a bunch of coworkers. People that have had it out for me since day one. It's time for me to show them what I'm made of. I got this and time to stop being a little cry baby about it. I'm getting my dream handed to me. Why bitch?
It's going to be long days and longer nights. No more switching shifts whenever I want. No more smiling with the guests. No more tights and skirts. Time to button up and get dirty and I can't wait!