I've been told by a few people in the past few weeks that I should re-evaluate how I spend my money. I've been told that I should keep things to myself, no matter if it's debt or fun things like concerts, football games, or going out. I've been told that it doesn't make me look good and that it makes me look irresponsible.
People ask me why I do things when I have zero money and have to stress myself out with budgeting and second jobs.
Well, I think I need to clear the air. If more than one people have said this to me in the past weeks than I'm sure more people are out there wondering the same thing.
I find these comments unsolicited. I find them rude, mean, and upsetting.
The people that say these things only know what they are reading on Facebook.
I have not been shy about letting people know that I am in debt. I also have budgeted and dealt with my creditors so that the $8k I am in debt will be paid off completely by June 2011. Yippee!!!
My budget is intense. If you put it into one of those budget calculator things then you will get -$314 a month. Thankfully I have someone in my life that helps me take food costs out of my budget, helps pay the majority of my house bills, drives me around so I only need to spend enough on gas to get me to Seattle for school. That helps bring that budget down to about -$100.
I have taken a second job for the holiday season and will hopefully start this week. I have multiple resumes out for other second jobs that will pay more. I have been very proactive in taking care of what needs to be taken care of.
And it sucks. It sucks to eat Minute rice with frozen vegetables for dinner. It sucks to be so reliant on Cory to help take care of me. It sucks that not a soul will get a Christmas present this year. It sucks that I haven't been able to cook or bake because, well, it's just not in the budget. It sucks that I have to plan my visits to my nieces based on my gas.
But I do what needs to be done.
People think that I don't have my priorities straight since I go to every Seahawks home game, concerts at least once a month, and out with friends every once in a while.
Well, we bought our season tickets back in April. By we, I mean CORY. I paid for a very small portion of them and I paid for it with money I saved from tips. When we go we normally find free parking and walk to the stadium. We bring sandwiches we make at home and spiced up popcorn. Rarely we will buy a hot dog outside of the game for about $5. We each drink one beer and sometimes 2 but that is not often. Our games cost us, on average, $24 every other week. We split who pays every other time so that is about $25 a month per person.
Our concerts we go to are always planned out. Cory is normally the one that pays for the expensive shows. I pay for the small bar shows we go to which are normally $10 for the two of us. At any show we go to we only drink 1-2 beers each of the cheapest beer. Normally we drink about $20 tops at these shows. The bar shows we spend way less because of that good ol' PBR.
When I go out with friends I bring no more than $25.00 cash with me. Rarely will I spend $30. I pick what or if I eat and I choose my drinks wisely. It's rare that I even go out. It happens less than once a month.
We don't go to the movies (it's been almost a year since we sat in a theatre), we don't eat at pricey places, I don't buy new clothes, I quit smoking because of the money it costs, our pantry is bare and empty because we can't do a full grocery trip, I don't get my hair or nails done, I don't tan, I don't waste my money.
My money is my money and Cory's money is his. When he buys a new car or bike, it's him buying it. When we go to fancy shows, it's because Cory wanted to treat me. We don't share our finances. We aren't married. We are merely dating. He does so much for me financially in helping cover my house bills that it is wrong to tell him to stop buying the things he wants.
I do let him know that sometimes it makes me uncomfortable that he can do all these things and I can't. It makes me nervous that he is going to get sick of putting up with this broke girl and find a new lady. I hate that he has to pay for everything we do that I don't have budgeted in. I hate that he asks before I go out if I need gas money or emergency money.
But you know what? If it wasn't for him splurging on these things then I would go crazy. I would break my budget to go out and have some fun and would surely be drowning in debt. Because Cory is so generous with his money I am able to dig myself out from under. Because he is willing to help me with my portion of our house bills doesn't mean he is able to pay off my debts and he shouldn't have to. He knows that weathering this storm just means a better financial future for the two of us down the road.
So to all of you out there that think you can judge me. Know your facts. I get to have fun because I have a man that helps me out when needed and because I save for it. I am broke but that doesn't mean I am doomed to sitting at home with my dollar store popcorn.
I think it is very important to treat yourself with in your means. If you don't then you just turn bitter at the people that do get to treat themselves and that's just unfair to both me and those people I turn bitter to.
I'm going to continue to budget, continue to save every penny in my HUGE change jar so I can have 'fun' money, I'm going to continue to bust my ass to live the life I want to live. I learned that I really am an adult and can't go begging for money from my parents. I need to do it all on my own. But I am willing to take tuition donations! ;)
So Please! Can everyone understand that Cory's money is not my money. I don't get to dictate what he buys. Do not judge me and my finances because you don't know where MY money is going. Cory's new truck is his truck. Cory's toys are his toys. Our football seats are Cory's football seats. Every single piece of furniture in our house is Cory's except for my $20 dining room table, free TV in the bedroom and the Queen bed that was once my mother's and is now my guest bed, and my gifted bowflex. Almost every pair of shoes in my closet was bought by Cory for me. The Jeep I drive is registered to Cory and he bought it for me for my birthday. I did buy Wheeler fr $100 but Cory buys everything he needs and eats, including my shoes, my hats, my pillows etc.
To close this ranting and WAY too long post, Cory makes it possible for me to live a good life. All my family and friends should be happy for me and proud of me for making my debt my priority and proud of Cory for making me his priority. So I thank you for your concern and what you felt was just friendly advice. I know you are just trying to look out for me.
Love you all and thanks for sticking through it all!