Well I am now in my second half of second quarter and it's taking it's toll on me!
I have ZERO energy!
I have LOTS of extra Tummy wiggle!!
I have MORE debt adding up with each quarter!
I just keep hoping that this will all be worth it in the long run.
I realized last week that I can't do it all. It's a tough thing to realize about yourself.
I had a really hard time coming to terms with it and it broke me down.
I came home from a day of work and school, knowing that I had online homework to do as well and it was already 11pm. I looked at my house and it was in complete despair. I felt like I had the weight of the world on my shoulders and just headed to bed.
I woke up to my house the exact same as I left it.
I had a weeks worth of dishes piled up, my luggage from my trip to Cali still open and full on my bedroom floor, my couch covered in all my school crap, uniforms, towels, papers everywhere! I had bills that haven't been opened in weeks all over the kitchen counter mixed in with ads and spam. Dust covered every inch of every surface. Laundry was at least 3 weeks behind. Bills were going on 2 months behind. The yard was looking like a crazy safari with doggie trenches and landmines everywhere.
It was a perfect picture of that show about when humans finally leave this world. You know the one where they break it down from day 1 all the way to the earth reclaiming her magical land?
It was bad. And I couldn't handle it.
So, I picked up the kitchen and made a big breakfast for me and the bf! We had homemade pancakes with boysenberry syrup, hashbrowns and delish BACON!!
After I stuffed my face I went back in to the kitchen and it just looked worse for wear. I was defeat yet again.
SO, I went to church! I came home and it was still there!
So, I took BF up to Arlington to pick up his truck and then I headed to Target for some much needed supplies! I came home with a seed starter greenhouse kit, lots of seeds for herbs and veggies, some doggy bones, and about 3 boxes of swiffer dusters.
I got home and..... IT WAS STILL THE SAME WAY!! except I also had the BF's parents waiting for me.
SO not the day for me to have patience or people over. I was mean and rude and short and a bitch the whole day. I ignored them and just continued to clean my house like they were not even there. I got the whole downstairs done, the laundry done, the seeds planted and the kitchen clean.
I then advised the BF that I can't do it alone anymore. I can't go to school, go to work, be a homemaker and still nurture our relationship the way it deserves it. Cleaning that house, making the meals, doing the grocery shopping and paying the bills and keeping up on 4 classes while working was too much for me. I had reached my limit.
Thank God I have a very understanding BF.
That was last week. This is this week.
My couch is covered in school crap. My coffee table is under a pile somewhere, I just know it! That luggage is still open and on the floor. My yard is open for jungle tours Sunday from 1pm- 8pm. The kitchen sink is full, the counter is sticky, and make sure you keep your shoes on because my floors are feeling a bit revengeful since they have been neglected for so long.
BUT!!! My bills are caught up, my homework is caught up, my seeds are sprouting and I get the weekend ALL BY MYSELF!!!! That's right! I get Saturday and Sunday to myself! No BF, no roomies, just me the dog and that box of Swiffer dusters!
Oh, and the weed killer spray, the lawnmower, the washing machine, the vacuum, the mop, the dryer, the scrubbing bubbles for bathroom scum, the leftover half a papa Murphy's pizza and cheesy bread wheel, the doggy nail clippers, the puppy shampoo, and boxes and boxes of clothes and junk to go to goodwill. I may also throw in a can of paint if there is time!
HELLO spring cleaning!